Life happens to us when we least expect it. Our communalistic nature, more often than not, make us take people for granted. “I’ll call her tomorrow”. “He’s fine, it hasn’t been so long we spoke”. “When I’m ready, I’ll make a big thanksgiving”.
Sadly, we don’t always get to do so. All we really have is today; the next moment is really out of her hands. And like in Adesuwa Onyenokwe’s case, not having the opportunity to say thank you to a close relative who had taught you all about life, could be quite an enduring pain.
Adesuwa, the icon of many years on TV, almost as Nigeria’s own ‘Oprah Winfrey’, gave an insightful revelation of herself on Kemi Adetiba’s King Women. Besides the pain of the loss of her dad, it was interesting to discover the ordinary challenges she expresses, which many women can easily relate with.
Though the shortest of the Interviews so far, it was, in keeping with the previous episodes, full of life lessons and inspiring words.
Hope assures tomorrow
“My father lived all his life with a red bank account and he was never unhappy. Who am I to be unhappy that I don’t have certain things that I would like to have now? My father taught me hope, that even if you didn’t get what you wanted today, you can get it tomorrow. That’s what’s the most important in life”
I wish I said thank you
“You know why I was so pained, as I look back? Because I realize I don’t know if I ever did tell him how much he had impacted my life, I don’t think so. I never got the opportunity to say a final bye bye. Because he was like the light of my life”
On having six kids
“I had those kids because I just wanted to be open to life. When everybody is going to God with one plate, I am going with seven. It’s taught me to be more reflective, to be more concerned about others than myself. I still can’t buy the best that I’d like to buy. I have to step down my taste; instead of me having three Gucci bags, I have one Gucci bag, you know what I mean. It’s made me even closer to God, but I thank God.”
On ‘working out’ Marriage
“Women in my mother’s generation just assumed that whatever the man does, you accept, you live with it. In my generation, we came up with ‘Women’s Rights! No Way! I ain’t gonna take that!’, meaning that if anything goes wrong, ‘I’m outta here’, not realizing that it takes work. You gotta work at it; you gotta consciously work at it. I call it ‘beautiful jail”
Comment: Was this where some thumb downs on the video happened? But marriage does take work, doesn’t it?
The Full Stop
“The lesson I take away from my father’s death is: it’s a full stop for him, it’s going to be a full stop for a lot of us and for a lot of people that we love. So you’re better off telling whoever you love what you want to tell them, ‘cos that full stop will happen”
Thank you Aunty Adesuwa, thank you.
The transcript for the video has been produced to the best of our ability, with some sentences clipped and abridged. For a complete reflection of the King Women series, visit the YouTube channel for Accelerate TV.