Sorry! I Mean It this Time


OpinionThe Muse

By Olaniyi Ayodele

…. I am sorry for the decisions I have forced on you, I am sorry for the positions I have made you assume and I am sorry for the choices you cannot change no more. You have to do yet again, this time not for me but for us my one. You have to try the salt on the sore to know for sure, if it truly hurts.

My righteousness has long promised me the perfect end, a future everyone seeks but few get to own. I have looked forward to the junction where this much anticipated grace would manifest from; could it be from my incessant efforts in raking earthly wealth, or that which i make my pain to cleanse this world of the decisions and actions of the despots of yesterday and today. Could it be my eternal rest, the place we all look forward to but no one wishes to turn the knob that opens the gateway.

On and on, then you came along, i thought you were like the others past, i thought you were in search of purpose and possibly a taste of passion. Both i had and still have to offer but here comes greater emphasis, a pulsating effect making my heart and soul cling to you as though they were deliberately waiting for the day you stroll into my life, tightening their grip to hold on to you so you don’t find or make your way out no more.

The good thing is that you feel the same, the heart calls and eyes long  for same. Your soul yearns for the same and your grip is way to stiff to let also let lose. How perfect, you have a heart of gold that pumps and runs on fluids of peace. Your smile brings joy comparable to the effect of the spirit man looking down on us from above. Your teeth glitters in the light as though the eyes are not fit enough to stand the reflection and sight of such beauty. Your smirk, smile and fury have similar effect on me, explains the reasons for my ever melting emotions –  vast enough to satisfy the thirst of friends, acquaintances, relatives and you; my one.

What then, why am i still conflicted? why are you still unsettled? why are there still doubts amidst the certainty of what this perfectly carved and much waited future presents to us my one? what’s the panic? why the misfits? Many questions for us alone to answer, but yet no response as we patiently await the third eye – divinity or earthly being, we can’t be sure.

Why not let’s see if this works, let us draw from the core of our youthful energy and the bond that draw us closer. Why not let us task our doubts and engage our faith, maybe then we would be able to restore the course and cause of fate – if such arrangements extend to us. I believe in you, you claim to believe in me, i believe in us, do you believe in us? If so, let’s make this work!

This is for everyone trying to mention their true feelings to the ones they love and care about, but don’t know how to go about it! The ones that have voluntarily and involuntarily held on with the ones they love free from physical desire. This is for the ones that have lost the one to childish and youthful gamble. Make the move, get the love or get it back.


This first appeared on Hurting Fingers | Featured image: By Joscos (Deviant Art)

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